


Vernal Equinox

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, Episode: s04e20 Evidence of Things Not Seen, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-10-15
Updated: 2006-10-15
Packaged: 2019-05-31 10:06:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15117137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: "You can always hold on to me.  You never, ever have to let go."





	Vernal Equinox

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

For the fifth night in a row, Toby woke up in a cold sweat. He did not wake up shouting her name so Nora was still asleep beside him. He turned to look at her, hoping her dreams were peaceful. Pushing hair from her cheek, Nora stirred and Toby moved away from her. He got out of bed and tried to catch his breath. The dreams were getting worse and he did not know how to make them stop. He did not know how to stop what he saw when he closed his eyes from creeping into the world of the waking. Toby felt like he was losing his mind…he had come close to losing much more over a week ago.

It was raining again and Toby placed his forehead on the window glass. He closed his eyes; let the coolness control his shallow breathing and rapid heartbeat. A vision flashed behind his eyelids that caused him to jump. Oh God, she was OK. She was sleeping; there was no more cause for alarm. He got to her in time. Toby looked down at his hands, clammy and trembling. For just a moment, his hands were drenched in blood. He flinched, checking his hands again. They were clean.

“Oh God, I'm going insane.”

Toby nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt arms around him. Nora’s lips were warm on his shoulder and the feeling of her body close to his was consoling. He tried to relax, finding he couldn’t. She held him closer.

“You're trembling. What's the matter honey?”

“I'm OK. Just go back to bed Nora.”

“No, you're not OK…I know you're not sleeping. You cry out in your sleep. It’s going to be alright; just fall on me.”

“I can't.” he whispered.

“You can't or you won't? I'm not going anywhere. C’mon.”

She walked him back over the bed and they sat down. Nora gave him some space; he would not talk unless he felt comfortable. Toby studied his knees while Nora studied his profile.

“I have nightmares too Toby.”

“About the dark blue room?” he asked.

“Yeah, but um…I was in a car accident in New York City one summer. Everyone was alright but for a few weeks I had these dreams that we weren’t OK. I dreamed that my friends died and I could not save them.”

“Are you lying to me?”

“No. It’s not exactly rare after a traumatic event to have nightmares Toby.”

“What traumatic event?”

“We were shot at. A place that’s safe was violated and people you love could’ve been hurt.”

“I've been shot at before…I'm OK.”

She sighed but did not say another word. The last thing they needed was to get into an argument at two in the morning. Nora leaned to kiss his cheek.

“Well I can't sleep so I am going to make a little snack. Are you hungry?”

“No.”

Nodding, Nora left the room. In the kitchen she grabbed the caramel ice cream, cool whip, and started scooping. It was definitely a late night snack kind of night.

“I'm having nightmares.” Toby came to stand in the kitchen doorway. “Bad ones that even haunt me during the day.”

“Well it definitely sounds like you need some ice cream.”

Nora held out a plastic spoon. Toby joined her at the table.

“What happens in these nightmares?”

“Everything happens just as it did that night. We go into pressroom and then hear gunshots. Except in my dream there are about six or seven shots. I throw you and CJ on the ground…you're curled against each other with Will and I covering you. The shots stop and when I lift up there’s blood. You and CJ are both so still; I start to panic. I freeze and don’t do anything. CJ comes around and nudges you. You just fall over Nora; you just fall over. There’s…” Toby stopped suddenly. There are tears in his eyes. Nora reached out for his hand and squeezed. They did not need words to reassure each other.

“You have a bullet hole in your chest. I swear I can see right through you. There’s so much blood, and CJ is screaming. I grab you and you are so lifeless…I know that it is too late. Your eyes Nora, your eyes are wide open. They stare at me, accuse me, and beg me. I could not save you. I tried so hard but I couldn’t.”

“I'm still here Toby, you did save me.”

“Not in my dreams!” he exclaimed. “There’s so much blood. I see blood all the time. No matter what I do.”

“Just keep talking to me. You’re going to be OK. I promise.”

“You promise?”

“Mmm hmm.” She slipped the ice cream spoon in his mouth. “I do. I love you and will take care of you. The nightmares will go away.”

“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I…”

“Shh.” She put her finger on his lips. “Take a deep breath and relax. Eat some ice cream; it always makes me feel better.”

“If I keep eating ice cream I don’t think I’ll have to worry about the sleep.”

“I told you I would take care of you…the ice cream is a ploy.”

“How many grams of sugar are we consuming?” he asked smiling.

“Uh uh, women don’t think about things like that. Just eat.”

Toby ate another mouthful and so did Nora. She smiled at her husband.

“Are you feeling better?” she asked.

“I think so. It’s a…I’ll be alright.”

“You can always hold on to me. You never, ever have to let go.”

Toby took her hand; they stood from the table.

“Where are we going?”

“To burn off some of that ice cream. There’s another taste of sugar that’s always so good for me.”

She let him wrap her up in his arms. They walked into the bedroom almost as one.

“Mmm, I don’t know what I would do without you.” He whispered, kissing her softly. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

She made love to him and then held him in her arms. He slept, not dreaming of blood, screaming and death. She was right; Toby hated to admit that she usually was. Letting her know what bothered him always made it better. Everything was better when he opened the vault and let Nora in. She made it easy for him to go to her, even when he chose not to. Her love was seamless, neverending like the sky on a sunny day. He saved her in the pressroom that night…she was still with him. Toby was one up on all the times she rescued him.

***


End file.
